Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I had to relearn how to accept compliments

Hey Everyone,

This past weekend Chris and I drove to Vegas for a conference and we had a really great time just talking about random things. As we were talking the topic of accepting compliments came up. When I first met Chris I didn't know how to accept compliments. When he said some thing nice to me I wouldn't know how to response so I would say something like, "no I'm not" or "whatever".  I thought if I said "thank you" I would sound conceited and not humble. Then I started wondering why I felt that way. Then it reminded me an incident that happened when I was young.

I remember when I was young I use to say "thank you" all the time whenever someone complimented me. Then in 7th grade one of my girlfriends told me that I sounded conceited because it seemed like I was saying "I know". That was a bit traumatizing because that was the last thing I wanted other people to think I was. Since then I stopped saying "thank you" and instead responded by putting myself down thinking I was being humble. The danger of that is that you are what you say you are and if you keep saying "no I'm not" then some how you start to believe you really aren't. Also, when we put ourselves down other people start to look at us that way as well.

So, I asked Chris "how should I accept compliments?". He recommended that I should say "thank you" and sincerely compliment the other person back. I started practicing with Chris and at first it was a little awkward but after a while it became a habit. Now when he compliments me I say something nice back. 

Compliments are a form of gift as well. It's okay to accept it and it's even greater to give it back.

Do you catch yourself doing what I use to do as well?

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