I completely lost it yesterday..failed in loving others

Hey Everyone,

I hope you guys are all having a great week so far. My week was really great despite a little incident yesterday.

I was having lunch with a friend yesterday at Porto's in Downey and it was a beautiful sunny day. I was really looking forward to catching up with my friend. Before we sat down to enjoy our lunch I had to go to the bathroom to change Topher's diaper. It was really packed and busy inside the restaurant and there was barely any room to move around the tables. I excused myself and tried to get through in between the space between the chairs. I felt bad because the stroller was a little big and nudging peoples chairs a little but most of the people were extremely understanding and moved thier chair for me except for one lady.

As I was passing by she looks at me and say's " Excuse me you can go around next time." So, I asked "Where? There's no room." She points to the opposite direction where there's a baby sitting in a high chair. I felt so dumbfounded and couldn't believe this lady. Also, she had two kids of her own. I was going to say something but I just shook my head and walked away.

As I was in the bathroom changing Topher I couldn't resist this overwhelming feeling of anger and disbelief. I felt so mad I wanted to say something to her. I knew I shouldn't and just walk away but a part of me wanted to say something to her so bad. Usually I would just walk away but this time I just couldn't. It's definitely the fact that it was a little towards my son. So, I completely lost it and told her what was on my mind.

Did I feel better? Honestly and a bit guiltily, I did. Does that mean I did the right thing? Sad to say but it wasn't. I asked myself in the bathroom, 'What would Jesus do?'  He would maybe ask her a question? He might say, "Are you ok? or simply just walk away?" I guess there's many things I could have done but I chose to stand up for myself which shows that the center was me. I obviously was only thinking about myself and my feelings. Was this wrong? To be frankly honest I'm still going back and forth but one thing I am sure of is that God said to love our enemies as well.

This definitely doesn't discourage me or make me feel bad about myself but helps me to realize that it really isn't me who's changing me but it's my willingness and God's strength that will truly help me to be more like Jesus because let me tell you IT'S HARD but as I told my husband, what in life that's rewarding easy?

Life is hard so I'd rather chose a life with God that's hard but truly rewarding then a life that's hard with no vision.

Failure is the road to our success~

Love,
Sandy

The best parenting tip we most neglect

Hey Everyone,

I had quite a few request to talk about parenting tips so I wanted to share a tip Chris and I learned to have a great marriage and a family.

The most important tip we learned was: Protect your marriage
The husband-wife union is not just a good first step towards child rearing. It is a necessary one. (based on the book"Baby Wise")

I've learned that the greatest overall influence we will have on our child isn't as an individual parent, but in the joint role as husband and wife. A healthy husband-wife relationship is essential to the emotional health of children in the home, and it infuse a stability within the family. A strong marriage also provides a lot of security for children as they grow in the nurturing process.

Chris and I are very conscience of this as we are walking into the world of parenting. I have to be eve more mindful of this because I'm with Topher all day and I can easily make him the center of my attention. I tell Chris when I feel we need more alone time and I crave it if we don't have it on a daily basis.

Here are a few things we do and the tips the book "Baby Wise" recommends to have a strong marriage/ family:

1) Life doesn't stop once you have a baby. It may slow down for a few weeks, but it should not stop entirely. When you become a mother, you do not stop being a daughter, a sister, a friend, or a wife. Those relationship must still be maintained.
2) Date your spouse. Chris and I use to have weekly date nights so we do what we can to keep those sacred. We do what we can to get a babysitter.
3) Continue those loving gestures you enjoyed before the baby came along. I still tell Chris how much I love him everyday and we always give each other a kiss goodbye every morning. I also text him random text messages throughout the day. We also try to keep doing the activities we loved to do together such as singing, working out, outdoor activities, etc.
4) Invite some friends over for food and fellowship. This forces you to plan your child's day around serving others as you work together to prepare your home for the guests. Chris and I invited friends over to watch the football games or to play basketball.
5) At the end of each day, spend fifteen minutes sitting with your spouse discussing the day's event. Chris and I call this "couch time" which takes place after we put him to sleep around 11pm. We realized that the living room had too much distractions so we do it in our bedroom.

Hopefully these tips will help you guys as well!


Love,
Sandy

I had to relearn how to accept compliments

Hey Everyone,

This past weekend Chris and I drove to Vegas for a conference and we had a really great time just talking about random things. As we were talking the topic of accepting compliments came up. When I first met Chris I didn't know how to accept compliments. When he said some thing nice to me I wouldn't know how to response so I would say something like, "no I'm not" or "whatever".  I thought if I said "thank you" I would sound conceited and not humble. Then I started wondering why I felt that way. Then it reminded me an incident that happened when I was young.

I remember when I was young I use to say "thank you" all the time whenever someone complimented me. Then in 7th grade one of my girlfriends told me that I sounded conceited because it seemed like I was saying "I know". That was a bit traumatizing because that was the last thing I wanted other people to think I was. Since then I stopped saying "thank you" and instead responded by putting myself down thinking I was being humble. The danger of that is that you are what you say you are and if you keep saying "no I'm not" then some how you start to believe you really aren't. Also, when we put ourselves down other people start to look at us that way as well.

So, I asked Chris "how should I accept compliments?". He recommended that I should say "thank you" and sincerely compliment the other person back. I started practicing with Chris and at first it was a little awkward but after a while it became a habit. Now when he compliments me I say something nice back. 

Compliments are a form of gift as well. It's okay to accept it and it's even greater to give it back.

Do you catch yourself doing what I use to do as well?

Creating a good habit

Hey Everyone,

This past weekend my family (it's still feels surreal to say that) and I went to Renovare; Latin word which means "to renew" or "to restore"; from church. It's also known as a retreat but our pastor doesn't like to call it that because retreat means to withdraw from something difficult or dangerous and that's not what we're trying to do. I like the thought of renewal more then retreating as well.

I really enjoy listening to our Pastor John speak because he doesn't only just preach the word but he shares logical ways to apply it into our life. There were a lot of great things that was addressed and one of the questions that people asked during our discussion time was, "How do you create a good habit?" Our Pastor's response to that was, "the same way you create a bad habit. You just do it."

I really connected with that question because I had a hard time breaking a bad habit of mine for a long time. Ever since I was young I held things off until the last minute and that became a habit. The consequences of procrastinating wasn't as harmful when I was young but as I got older it really bit me in the butt. I've made subtle changes throughout the year but it wasn't enough. This year I really really really wanted to make a change. I knew if I really wanted to achieve my dreams and goals I had to change. The key is I REALLY wanted it. So, I wanted to share a few things I did to create a good habit in my life.

I'm reading a book called "Leading an Inspired Life" by Jim Rohn and this book is what really helped me to create a good habit. I would highly recommend this book because it's such an easy read. The chapters are short so it really makes you feel like you're going through the book really fast which is awesome.

So, how did I create a good habit? The magic word is Discipline: the continuing process that brings all the good things.

"How do you get a miracle going? It's all a matter of discipline. And it begins with one simple step: doing what you can do."

We sometimes look at an undisciplined day and conclude that no harm was done but add up all those days which makes a year, then add up those years which makes a lifetime. Failure is not a cataclysmic event. It's not a result of one major incident but it's a result of little things we failed to do. So, we must be disciplined in order to create good habits. We discipline ourselves to do the little things in our daily life to create a good habit overall.

Here are the steps I took:
1) I started by not procrastinating even on the little things in my life such as: doing the laundry, washing the dishes right away, making my bed, putting my clothes away, writing on my blog, working out, etc. I have to learn to accomplish the small things before I try to accomplish big things.

2) Every time I accomplished something (such as washing the dishes right away) I really congratulated myself. I told myself, "Sandy, you did a great job!" This created confidence and motivated me to continue what I'm doing.

3) I didn't try to over achieve in the beginning. In the past I tried to change too much all at once that I felt unmotivated once I failed to do it but this time I made goals each day I knew I can achieve. Once I started to master those goals I would set higher goals to stretch myself.

4) Just keep doing it! Try your best to be consistent but if you fail to do it once don't feel discouraged. Just keep doing it. Success in anything doesn't happen over night so creating a good habit doesn't either but you can do it.

5) Don't share this new dedication with someone who won't support you but with someone who will truly root for you.

Sometimes when I try to talk myself out of doing something because of fear or other reasons, I think of someone who was able to accomplish it and remind myself that God created me just as great so I can do it too. This always seems to give me the courage and strength when I need it.

I've been applying these steps the past few weeks and I already see a difference in myself. It's like a ripple effect. Since I'm gaining more confidence I feel like I can accomplish a lot more.  I would highly recommend for you to get the book if you want to know more in details as well. I hope this helps you guys in some way.


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Have a great week!

Love,
Sandy

A video of our 2011

In the year of 2011

Hey Everyone,

There's 8 minutes left until 2012 as I'm writing this post and I'm really enjoying reminiscing about all the great things that happened this year.

Just to name a few things that happened this year... we went to DC with CJ, pregnant with Topher, a lot of morning sickness, found a great church/ family, made great friends, our T-Day group was launched, great mentors, Vancouver, my surprise birthday party, baptism, baby shower, Renovare (retreat), TOPHER, etc... so much more.

Chris and I were a little sad that we couldn't spend New Years Eve with our Numanites because we didn't want to take the chances of Topher getting sick with bad germs going around everywhere but we made the best of it with great wine, desserts, and conversation. We've been talking about all the blessings we've been given this year and the new goals and visions we have for 2012. We started 2011 with plans but God surpassed them all with even greater plans. He blessed us with great new friends, a great church, Topher, our business, and most importantly we grew a little more as a couple. I love Chris more and more each year.

The best thing that happened to us this year by far was obviously Topher but another great event was my baptism. It was a really special moment for me since I was pregnant with Topher and Chris helped baptize us. Also I'm thankful for our family, friends, and our Numa family. This year wouldn't have been the same without any of them. Above all I'm thankful for my husband who has been consistent and never changing. I thank God for sending me the perfect person for me.

I'm looking forward to all the great surprises God and life has in store for us in the upcoming year of 2012.

As Jim Rohm said, whether it was 1000 years ago or 1000 years from now life is made up of the same mix. It's filled with opportunities and difficulties. Let's make the best of all of it.

Love,
Sandy