Friday, March 23, 2012

I completely lost it yesterday..failed in loving others

Hey Everyone,

I hope you guys are all having a great week so far. My week was really great despite a little incident yesterday.

I was having lunch with a friend yesterday at Porto's in Downey and it was a beautiful sunny day. I was really looking forward to catching up with my friend. Before we sat down to enjoy our lunch I had to go to the bathroom to change Topher's diaper. It was really packed and busy inside the restaurant and there was barely any room to move around the tables. I excused myself and tried to get through in between the space between the chairs. I felt bad because the stroller was a little big and nudging peoples chairs a little but most of the people were extremely understanding and moved thier chair for me except for one lady.

As I was passing by she looks at me and say's " Excuse me you can go around next time." So, I asked "Where? There's no room." She points to the opposite direction where there's a baby sitting in a high chair. I felt so dumbfounded and couldn't believe this lady. Also, she had two kids of her own. I was going to say something but I just shook my head and walked away.

As I was in the bathroom changing Topher I couldn't resist this overwhelming feeling of anger and disbelief. I felt so mad I wanted to say something to her. I knew I shouldn't and just walk away but a part of me wanted to say something to her so bad. Usually I would just walk away but this time I just couldn't. It's definitely the fact that it was a little towards my son. So, I completely lost it and told her what was on my mind.

Did I feel better? Honestly and a bit guiltily, I did. Does that mean I did the right thing? Sad to say but it wasn't. I asked myself in the bathroom, 'What would Jesus do?'  He would maybe ask her a question? He might say, "Are you ok? or simply just walk away?" I guess there's many things I could have done but I chose to stand up for myself which shows that the center was me. I obviously was only thinking about myself and my feelings. Was this wrong? To be frankly honest I'm still going back and forth but one thing I am sure of is that God said to love our enemies as well.

This definitely doesn't discourage me or make me feel bad about myself but helps me to realize that it really isn't me who's changing me but it's my willingness and God's strength that will truly help me to be more like Jesus because let me tell you IT'S HARD but as I told my husband, what in life that's rewarding easy?

Life is hard so I'd rather chose a life with God that's hard but truly rewarding then a life that's hard with no vision.

Failure is the road to our success~


1 comment:

  1. I'm in the trenches with you. I'm fighting a battle everyday with myself, and when I choose to let go and let God; that's when I'm winning. Sandy & Regina, ftw!


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