I've been living on other people's verbal throw up

Hey Everyone,

You're probably thinking, "verbal throw up?" I guess it's kind of literal. If you would like to know please continue to read.

My life after Renovare had it's ups and downs (mainly because of my hormones I think) but overall it's been good. I'm continuously learning.

There's a few great changes I noticed in my life.

The first is that I'm able to soak in God's words as the truth and not just merely information. I didn't know how to put that into words until we started going through a series called MetaX at our church. Before I would read the bible and most of the time it would soak in as good information. I didn't feel it penetrating into my heart. After renovare, I noticed that my heart was able to recieve God's word in a more deeper but simple way.

Another great awakening was that I realized that I've been living on other people's throw-up most of my life.

Let me elaborate on that.

I realized I got burnt out quickly because my strength came from books, sermons, and other sources other then my personal time with God. All the books and sermon's are great information but it's not good enough to give my body all the nourishment it needs in order to function properly everyday. Our pastor put it as Zero Calories. The great books, sermons, newspaper articles are zero calories unless we have God's word in us. All the books and sermon's were information they received from their personal time with God. In return they're sharing it with others and we're listening to their verbal throw up. It's not bad but it's not enough.

I've also realized how important comunity was tremdously through our NUMA family. I've been growing through the love people have been giving me and also through other peoples lives. I was able to see God through them.

What must I do now that I know this? I'm trying to create more margin for God each day. Creating margin for God means letting God be the center and pushing all the worldly things outwards so that God may go inward. Has it been easy? Not necessarily but God pursued after me before I ever pursued after Him.

Do you guys have a similar experience or understand where I'm coming from?

Love,
Sandy

What a beautiful MESS

On the weekend of Labor Day I got baptized for the first time. I wanted to share the experience with you guys. There are a lot of things I want to share so I decided to break it up into different blog posts.

The process:
The emotions of being baptized didn’t dawn on me until I was in the water and Pastor John was asking me if I commit to being baptized through the name of Jesus Christ. I had about a month to prepare for my baptism but it didn’t really hit me until then. I almost broke out in tears when he asked me that question because it was a very sacred moment. I made a vow in front of people I loved.

I’ve always thought about being baptized but I didn’t know the clear reason why we had to be baptized.  I once asked someone if I had to be baptized to go to heaven and I remember them saying that wasn’t the case. So, I really didn’t know what the importance of it was. Also, there might have been a part of me that wanted to avoid making that kind of commitment so I may have used it as an excuse.
Then, Pastor John explained what baptism was and it cleared up a lot of the questions I had. Now, It didn’t matter why I had to do it. I just wanted to receive it.

Among the few things Pastor John Park talked about the main thing that stood out to me was that once we’re baptized we’re identified with God. Growing up I had difficulties with my self-image and although I’ve found myself in Christ I wanted to made a declaration by accepting his grace through the baptism. Also, our Pastor talked about a renewal. To be baptized meant to be renewed by God.  He also explained that God has freely given us grace and being baptized is us accepting his grace. It’s not just us making a commitment but us accepting the commitment God has already made to us. I wanted to accept God’s love and commitment through my action. The whole experience was even more amazing because I was able to do it with Chris and Topher.

We got baptized in Newport Beach because that’s where we had our retreat called Renovare which means Renewal in Greek. It was 3 nights and 4 days.  Our beach house was literally on the beach which was incredibly relaxing. Also, I felt God’s love through our NUMA family the entire weekend.  We had a lot of time to “X” which means to connect with one another with Christ in the center.  So, every night we got a chance to hear someones story. It gave us a chance to learn from one another , get to know each other better , and hear about all the wonderful things God did and was doing in our lives. It was awesome!

The baptism:
On the day of the baptism we had Sunday worship at our Beach House. My friend Susie, Alex, and my sister came to share this sacred moment with me which meant a lot. I also asked Chris to help baptize me and Topher which was incredibly special.  

The whole ceremony was a celebration. Every one was cheering and congratulating one another. It wasn’t like any other baptism ceremony I’ve seen. It was beautiful. I’m getting teary just thinking about that moment again. I was a little scared walking into the ocean because I'm scared of waves but I felt secured because God, Chris, Pastor John, and Pastor Jenny was with me.  I thought the water would be extremely cold but surprisingly it wasn't. As we saw the wave coming P. John asked me if I would like to make this vow to God and I said YES! Then, they helped me into the water and Chris shoved my head into the water. He said he wanted to make sure I didn't cheat myself from fully being baptized and renewed. He knows me too well. I might have jumped right up due to my fear of the ocean. It was awesome! I have been RENEWED!
There were a few people getting baptized that day who were none believers. It’s amazing the transformation God can do in our lives. We were all a little worried that day because the waves were huge, it was really cold, and there were no sunlight. Although the circumstance wasn’t the best it turned out perfect. Our pastor described it perfectly . It was a beautiful mess. His wife Jeni shared that she received a word from God that morning telling her that that’s how we should come. We don’t need to be right with ourselves to be cleansed from God.  Everything doesn’t have to be perfect but even in the midst of the ugly storm he’ll make it beautiful. We just come as we are. It’s so amazing that it’s hard to grasp but that’s how awesome and amazing He is.

On a side note: A funny thing that happended that day was how P. Jenny got baptized several times along with us because the wave swallowed her up. She's very petite so she kept getting swept away. I felt so thankful for her sacrafice and can't deny that it was incredibly funny. We all couldn't stop laughing. That made it even more memorable. We're going to miss you P. Jenny!



This is a tribute for P. Jenny. This is her getting swept away for the 5th time =)





We love you P. Jenny for your sacrafices =)



What a beautiful MESS <3

Please leave me wonderful comments. I love reading them!
Hope you guys have a great day!

 Love,
Sandy

Pregnancy Week 29: X-ing with Topher, Chris, and Family

Hey Guys,

Update on Pregnancy:
I'm currently on week 29. I have 77 more days until my due date. Isn't that crazy! Less then 3 months. I haven't weighed myself lately but I know I gained a few pounds because Topher is getting big. My tummy is starting to feel a little sloughy and heavy so I need to get a waist band.
I want to share a funny story that happened last week. So, Chris and I was at our pool during the day getting a nice tan and I decided to do my pedicure. The worst idea ever. I'm so glad nobody else was there. I was sitting in the most awkward position and it was a challenge finishing all my 10 toes. I serisouly wanted to give up in the middle. I litterally had to take breaks in between. Pregnancy 101: Do not attempt to paint your toe nails when you can't reach your toes..duh!!

Topher Update:
Weighs approximately 2.5 lbs and about 15.25 inches. About the size of a butternut squash.

Our Babymoon Part 2:
Chris and I were on our 2nd Babymoon last week. This time we stayed local. It was really nice spending some time connecting with eachother. First, we went to Newport Beach with our church family over the Labor Day weekend to X (connect) with eachother and God. We rented a beach house which was literally on the beach. It was Aww-mazing. I also got baptized that weekend which was truly a remarkable moment. I'll share more about that on my next entry.

Then, Chris and I were on a vacation since Labor Day. One of the best things we did was finding a Breakfast and Brunch restaurant called The Crema Cafe in Seal Beach. The food is so awesome we went three days in a row. We ordered something new everytime and it surprised us how amazingly delicious every meal was. They received 4 1/2 stars out of 332 reviews. I highly recommend this place to everyone.

We also layed out at Seal Beach which was really nice. I spent some time reading my book and the bible. I had a great time connecting with God. We also met up with the Park Family and ate yummy Korean BBQ. We also went to visit the Nutrilite Farm in Lakeview with our other family. It was nice to have great friends and family around.

Here are some pictures from our babymoon:



Hope you guys are enjoying your Monday!

Please don't forget to subscribe~

Love,
Sandy Choi

The end of our Summer of Love- What's the point of being intentional?

Hey Guys,

I hope you guys all had a great weekend!

Chris and I had a great time this past weekend with friends and mentors. We had a special leadership conference that was truly inspiring. It always feels great to expand our knowledge.

This week was the last week of Summer of Love for our Covenant Group. You can read my posts about the different topics we've been discussing and experiences during the past weeks here: post 1, post 2,  post 3

It was also the last day for Chris and I at the Young Adult Covenant Group yesterday. We'll be transitioning to the Family CG in September. It almost feels like we're graduating into the next chapter of our lives.

Since it was officially the last day for "Summer of Love" we all shared what our experiences were like this past summer; especially learning about love. Generally, most people said they really felt true love through the actions of people around them and through NUMA family which was awesome.

Chris and I also felt a great measure of love through our brothers and sisters at NUMA as well. We were newcomers and looking for a community to be a part of and we really felt like everyone embraced us into their family which was in turn God's family. It really reflected the love God has for us.

I've also seen a change in Chris over this past summer. He shared that he learned how to intentionally be interested in other people lives. He's become a much better listener and a friend. He also shared how he was able to be himself wherever he was. He didn't have to separate himself by the work Chris, church Chris, husband Chris, etc. He was just Chris. His focus was on the other person and not on himself. This helped him to build more meaningful relationships. That lead him to ask more questions and listen instead of talking all the time (not that he does that). It's interesting how much we grow when we become more selfless. This is definitely something I've been learning as well. I've been more intentional in getting to know people on a deeper level. Thank you NUMA family for showing us through your example.

I'm praying that this wouldn't be just for the summer but a lifelong thing. Genuinely listening and caring for the people around us and through this showing love responsibly.

Love God relentlessly and love people responsibly- Joana Cho-

P.S.
Please share and subscribe if you enjoyed reading today's entry.
I love reading comments so please leave them for me.

Love,
Sandy Choi

Summer of Love Part II - It's hard for me to trust someone when it hurts

Yesterday was an amazing Sunday. We had a great time at church. Being around great people always lifts my spirit. Then in the afternoon my sister, brother in law, and nephews came over to swim.  It was so much fun! My nephews are getting so big.

The sermon our pastor spoke of was much needed in my current life. As we’re going through this series of what “love” is it’s been a challenge for me personally because of certain events in my life.

I shared in a earlier post (What's been going on in my life) that we were learning about love and breaking apart the passage 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 . This past Sunday our Pastor John Park preached about “Love always trusts.”

First, I would like to share what I learned about the word “love.”

So, what is love?

In the bible it says that God is love. (GOD=LOVE)

In Greek, “love” is the word agaphe.  It’s divine and selfless. So, it’s something that’s not human. It’s so special and beautiful.

When our pastor shared an example of what “Love always trusts” looks like I started asking myself when I was more selfless then selfish.

Selfish: Can I trust them? (This focus on me)

Selfless: Am I trustworthy? (This focus on God and our fellow bother)

My struggle:

The whole time as I was hearing this sermon I was really struggling in my heart.  I recently got into a really big turmoil with a family member and some hurtful words were said. Every time I heard the word trust I also heard the word forgive. In order for me to trust them I knew I had to truly forgive them. It’s like a battle in my mind. One side of my mind is sayings, “Sandy, were you being trustworthy to them? You did wrong too. Let’s forgive and trust them.” Another park of me is saying, “Yea, but it still hurts and they shouldn’t have said that. They had no right.” It sounds like my selfish and selfless side battling against each other.

One important thing that our pastor shared that gave me a lot of hope and peace was that we didn’t have to rush into trusting and forgiving someone. Although that doesn’t mean we should ignore the issue. He mentioned that we should confront them with love once we have truly forgiven them in our hearts.  He shared a personal testimony about his struggle with forgiving someone. He really disliked this person who has hurt him. Then, he finally reached out to that person after 2 years when he felt he was finally ready to talk with them.  Although they didn’t respond in kindness, he knew he had fully healed because he didn’t feel anger when they didn’t respond in kindness. He felt more sorrow.  I’m not quite there yet, but now I know that I don’t need to rush into making the situation better. I really want this situation to make my relationship with them much stronger and better. In order for that to happen I know I have to ask God to work with my heart first.

Are you guys struggling with something similar?

If you guys are I hope this helped give you some sort of direction and peace as it did for me.

What's been going on in my life: Church + Summer of Love

Chris and I were attending New Song Church in Irvine for about 2 years prior to NUMA church. We really loved Pastor Dave Gibbons sermon's but we both felt we were lacking a community. So, we wanted to look for smaller church we can build a strong relationship with.  At the time our friends Jeff and Anne was attending NUMA church and told us great things about it. So, we decided to check it out a few times. After getting to know a lot of the members of the church we knew this was a community we wanted to grow in. Everyone made us feel welcome and I loved how we were all growing together. I'm looking foward to our journey at NUMA.

We've been going through a series called Summer of Love at our covenant group and it couldn't have came at a better time. I've been struggling to love certain people in my life. Although Chris and I missed this weeks CG I got a chance to read through the material and I really wanted to share it with you guys because it's great stuff.

Week 1: Love is Patient
Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

What a beautiful image of love. If only my love looked like this too.

I think my love looks more like this:
"Love is sometimes patient, sometimes kind (depending on who it is). It does not envy, it does not boast (unless they do it first), and it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered (unless they push my buttons), it keeps no record of wrongs (except if they do this, this, or that). Love does not delight in evil (but they got what they deserved) but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts (unless I catch them lying), always hopes, always perserveres (until I'm fed up).

I notice that I pick and chose to love people a certain way depending on the situation but God loved us all equally no matter what we did. That blows me away.

We're going to pick apart 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 to discuss what it's saying to us and how we can live out love. If you're having a hard to being patient with people in your life or on a daily basis like me I would like to encourage you to start digesting these words and find a way to have a patient love with me. It's a learning process but it's doable. We can start by spending more time with a patient person which is God.
I want to know more about a love like that and be a person that can show that kind of love to others and I hope you guys do too.

This week is 1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is Patient.

Somethings to think about + my thoughts (don't judge =P)
1) Are you a patient person? Sometimes. What would others say about you?
2) How can you be more patient? I need to spend more time with people with patience. First would be to spend quality time with God.
3) In what circumstances do you need patience? When people treat me wrong, when people nag, when I meet people with no desires or aspirations, etc.
4) To whom do you need patience with? People at my work, my family...


How about you guys?