I've been living on other people's verbal throw up

Hey Everyone,

You're probably thinking, "verbal throw up?" I guess it's kind of literal. If you would like to know please continue to read.

My life after Renovare had it's ups and downs (mainly because of my hormones I think) but overall it's been good. I'm continuously learning.

There's a few great changes I noticed in my life.

The first is that I'm able to soak in God's words as the truth and not just merely information. I didn't know how to put that into words until we started going through a series called MetaX at our church. Before I would read the bible and most of the time it would soak in as good information. I didn't feel it penetrating into my heart. After renovare, I noticed that my heart was able to recieve God's word in a more deeper but simple way.

Another great awakening was that I realized that I've been living on other people's throw-up most of my life.

Let me elaborate on that.

I realized I got burnt out quickly because my strength came from books, sermons, and other sources other then my personal time with God. All the books and sermon's are great information but it's not good enough to give my body all the nourishment it needs in order to function properly everyday. Our pastor put it as Zero Calories. The great books, sermons, newspaper articles are zero calories unless we have God's word in us. All the books and sermon's were information they received from their personal time with God. In return they're sharing it with others and we're listening to their verbal throw up. It's not bad but it's not enough.

I've also realized how important comunity was tremdously through our NUMA family. I've been growing through the love people have been giving me and also through other peoples lives. I was able to see God through them.

What must I do now that I know this? I'm trying to create more margin for God each day. Creating margin for God means letting God be the center and pushing all the worldly things outwards so that God may go inward. Has it been easy? Not necessarily but God pursued after me before I ever pursued after Him.

Do you guys have a similar experience or understand where I'm coming from?

Love,
Sandy