Monday, July 25, 2011

Summer of Love Part II - It's hard for me to trust someone when it hurts

Yesterday was an amazing Sunday. We had a great time at church. Being around great people always lifts my spirit. Then in the afternoon my sister, brother in law, and nephews came over to swim.  It was so much fun! My nephews are getting so big.
The sermon our pastor spoke of was much needed in my current life. As we’re going through this series of what “love” is it’s been a challenge for me personally because of certain events in my life.
I shared in a earlier post (What's been going on in my life) that we were learning about love and breaking apart the passage 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 . This past Sunday our Pastor John Park preached about “Love always trusts.”
First, I would like to share what I learned about the word “love.”
So, what is love?
In the bible it says that God is love. (GOD=LOVE)
In Greek, “love” is the word agaphe.  It’s divine and selfless. So, it’s something that’s not human. It’s so special and beautiful.
When our pastor shared an example of what “Love always trusts” looks like I started asking myself when I was more selfless then selfish.
Selfish: Can I trust them? (This focus on me)
Selfless: Am I trustworthy? (This focus on God and our fellow bother)
My struggle:
The whole time as I was hearing this sermon I was really struggling in my heart.  I recently got into a really big turmoil with a family member and some hurtful words were said. Every time I heard the word trust I also heard the word forgive. In order for me to trust them I knew I had to truly forgive them. It’s like a battle in my mind. One side of my mind is sayings, “Sandy, were you being trustworthy to them? You did wrong too. Let’s forgive and trust them.” Another park of me is saying, “Yea, but it still hurts and they shouldn’t have said that. They had no right.” It sounds like my selfish and selfless side battling against each other.
One important thing that our pastor shared that gave me a lot of hope and peace was that we didn’t have to rush into trusting and forgiving someone. Although that doesn’t mean we should ignore the issue. He mentioned that we should confront them with love once we have truly forgiven them in our hearts.  He shared a personal testimony about his struggle with forgiving someone. He really disliked this person who has hurt him. Then, he finally reached out to that person after 2 years when he felt he was finally ready to talk with them.  Although they didn’t respond in kindness, he knew he had fully healed because he didn’t feel anger when they didn’t respond in kindness. He felt more sorrow.  I’m not quite there yet, but now I know that I don’t need to rush into making the situation better. I really want this situation to make my relationship with them much stronger and better. In order for that to happen I know I have to ask God to work with my heart first.
Are you guys struggling with something similar?
If you guys are I hope this helped give you some sort of direction and peace as it did for me.

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