I'm living out my dream

Happy Friday!!

I was listening to this song by Taylor Swift called Mean and I wanted to share this music with you guys. If you haven't heard this song yet I would like to highly recommend for you to at least listen to it once. It'll give you a great smile or give you a great laugh thinking about all those people who were mean to you when you were trying to live out your dream.

I've had a big dream since I was really young and I had an opportunity to take control of it when I was 22. Since then I've been learning and living to accomplish my dreams. Some people thought I was crazy, out of my mind, and sometimes weird. A great speaker/ pastor name Mark Gorman said there are 3 things that'll try to take your dreams away from you. The first are the people who geniuely love you. They don't want to see you get hurt and go through struggles so they would rather you chose a easier path. So, we may have an outrageous dream but all they think might be exactly that, just plain outrageous. That's what happened to me when I told my parents my dreams and goals. They thought I was crazy and thought it would be better for me to pick a more common path. I believed in myself and had faith that my visions weren't solely just from me but some part of it was from God. That kept me strong throughout all my struggles. I had so much to learn and still do but through all the great friends and mentorship I was able to become a much stronger person inside and out.

This song caught my attention because she talks about this person who's just plain mean because they do and say whatever they can to hurt her. Then she talks about how that person will always stay just as a mean person and she's going to rise to the top. This can refer to many different people. You can be 5, 15, 21, or 50 years old. In any time of our life their may be a certain person or people who continue to hurt us or treat as if we're not good enough. If we're referring to us striving for our dream I would like to say continue to focus on your dreams because you'll achieve it and all those that laughed or hurt you will probably still be where they were when you make it to the top. Here's my favorite part of the song:

Well you can take me down,
With just one single blow.
But you don’t know, what you don’t know,

Someday, I’ll be living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

These lyrics aren't necessarily for my parents but it spoke out to me and thought it may speak out to someone who's dealing with something similar. Also, sometimes the biggest meany in our lives is ourselves. There's that tiny voice telling ourselves that we're not good enough, we've failed before, who do you think you are, and many more. Sometimes we just need to tell ourselves to stop being mean to me.

I would just like to say to never give up on your dreams and don't ever let anyone else take your dream away from you. We won't be loved by everyone no matter what and I hope that's not your mission in life. If we want to do great things we can't be loved by everyone. I had to learn that the hard way. Let's just try to remeber that the only opinion that matters is from above.

P.S Please let me know one thing you would like to share with others who's living out their dreams. I would love to hear from you guys as well.

If you liked what you read please share with others.
Love,
Sandy

My Connection to LOVE by Jaeson Ma (feat. Bruno Mars)

The lyrics to this song always humbles me and makes me think.  I even cried a few times listening to this song by myself in my car.  I’m sure you guys all have done before. =)

 I think I listened to it at least 5 times a day for 2 weeks straight.  There are so many parts on this song that spoke out to me.  It really speaks the truth and because it does it’s very humbling and challenging at the same time. 

Whenever I listen to this song it makes me think about the kind of love that my life is reflecting.  Would I be able to die for my enemies?  Does my love keep no record of wrongs?  The truth is I’ve been struggling with showing love to two specific people in my life the past year.  I see them every day because I work with them and every day I tell myself it’s a new day and I’m going to show love to them.  Then I get into the office and they do something to annoy me.  So, all the promises and prayers goes straight out the door.  Their personality is completely different from mine so their work ethic frustrates me sometimes.  I’ve been asking God to give me strength to show love to them but it’s been a real challenge.  Although it’s not easy I will not give up because I know God is working in me.  I also know that the only way anything will change is if I decide to change.  So, I decided to start praying for them and their family.  It’s a commitment but I feel like God is telling me to start there.

The other part that brings tears of joy to my eyes is the way it describes what perfect love is.  It’s so refreshing and humbling.  It also gives me a lot of hope.  Sometimes I think I got it right and I let my ego get the best of me.  Then, I think about how God portrayed his love for us it humbles me.   It truly is unthinkable to think about what Jesus Christ did for us.  That is truly perfect love.

I think if we try to do what the chorus say's, it'll help us along this journey.  It’s not easy with all the temptation around us but there’s no temptation big enough that love can’t fight.  This will be a continuous mission and journey for me but I’m looking forward to learning and growing every step of the way.  I’ll let you guys know how it turns out with my coworkers in a few months.  Please keep me in your prayers.

I also follow Jaeson Ma's blog which has great inspiring stories. You may want to check it out http://www.jaesonma.com/.

Thanks for reading everyone and please share some trials and triumphs you've had as well.  What was your connection to this song?

A Deeper Look into My Heart

Hey Guys,

I wanted to take this time to share about my inner passion to fight against human trafficking.  I first heard about human trafficking 3 or 4 years ago in church through a spokesperson from Oasis.   At the time, I didn’t know something like this was possible and it was all incredibly new to me.  Back then when I thought about slavery I thought about the stories we read in our history books.  I never thought it could be happening now.  I learned about different forms of slavery and they are all equally horrible but the one that broke my heart the most was sex trafficking.  Maybe it's because I'm a woman but the thought of young children and women being sold as prostitutes really bothered my soul.  It was horrible enough to know that people from third world countries were being trafficked but it really boggled my mind when I found out that people in California were being kidnapped and tricked into slavery as well.  Although my heart cried out for these people I didn't decide to get involved until I watched the movie "Taken".  This movie is about a father who goes to the ends of the earth to get his daughter back who was trafficked into prostitution.  I cried uncontrollably after watching this movie because I knew this was happening in real life. I prayed and asked God how something like this could be happening in our world.  Then in return I asked myself or God asked me what I was going to do to make it better.  That's when I decided that I needed to do something to help any way I can.  Through a friend I was able to get a hold of the founder of CAS (California Against Slavery) and I started to get involved with what they were doing to end slavery in California.

This crime seems impossible to end when you look at the growing population of people being trafficked each year.  Even so I truly have faith that this horrible crime would come to an end.   I'm not sure when that'll be but I have faith that it will because I saw it happen in my dream.   A few months ago I had a dream that I was sold as a sex slave because my family was tricked into thinking that they were sending me to a really great school.   The emotions I felt when I found out what happened were so real.  I felt lost, scared, betrayed, and my whole world was spinning.  I asked people to help me but they were so scared of the scary man (the guy in charge) that they ignored me.  Not even the police was able to do anything.  The people who worked for him told me I had to sleep with the scary man and the thought of that made me sick.  I remember praying in my dream and asking God why this happened to me.   I was mad at God but I also knew He was the only one who could save me.   So, I prayed earnestly for a miracle.  Then the next day and I had to go see the scary man.   I remember feeling terrified standing outside his room.  Then, something happened.  The scary man came out and told me I was free to go.  It was words of disbelief, happiness, and hope.   It was a miracle. Then he told me again, “You’re free to go.”  So, I walked out of there as a free woman.  I remember seeing the brightest light when the doors opened.  After that dream I had ultimate faith that this horrible crime would come to an end.  It was my confirmation and I can’t wait for that day.

If you want to know more information or find out how you can help support CAS please visit our website:

www.californiaagainstslavery.org

My First Year of Marriage

Hello All,

Chris and I just celebrated our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY. Whoo Hoo!! Honestly, it felt like any other day because it's so short compared to all the years to come but it was great spending quality time with my hubby. A few weeks ago someone asked us if marriage was hard. I'm assuming they asked us because most people say that the first few years are the hardest. I can't speak for Chris but for me it wasn't hard for me.  I believe it wasn't because we had God as our foundation and we made a choice to make everyday a great day. We chose to love each other every day. We learned to do this after we learned from our mistakes.

After we got married the first few months were really hectic. We used that excuse to miss church. At first it was just one week then it turned out to be a month or so.  As I started missing church my heart started parting from God. Then, my heart started to grow cold. God was no longer in every aspect of my life. I had put Him away in my pocket. Everything seemed normal but something in my heart wasn't right. I started talking to Chris differently and I wasn't giving him the same respect as I did before.

Then on New Year's Day, Chris and I got into a horrible fight after having a few drinks. We said some things to each other that were very hurtful. That was our first real fight and it wasn't pretty. We would have never acted that way but I don't know what came over us. After that night, we both knew we had to change or things weren't going to be so great. We knew we had to focus back on God because we lost ourselves. We both repented before God and cried out to Him. It definitely felt like the enemy was trying to break us up. We promised eachother that that would never happen again and we decided to quit hard liquor. That's also when we decided to choose our marriage over ourselves.

There's goods and bads to marriage but that's life. Nothing in life can always be great but it's a decision we have to make. I decided that we were going to have the best time of our life until we go to heaven. There are days when I forget but I try to remind myself to look at Chris the way God looks at him. Then I remember to treat him with love and respect.

Chris and I asked each other what advice we would give to newly weds and here's what we said:

Sandy said:
1) Always have God at the core of your relationship
2) Tell your wife she's beautiful every day. Yes, EVERYDAY! We tend to forget.
3) Submit to your husband (if you don't know what this means, ask me separately)

Chris Said:

1) Don't get lazy in your relationship especially guys. Treat her the same way as you did when you first met her.

2) Accept compliments when they give it to you because that's a gift as well. Just say thank you, you're great too!
3) Guys, don't hold back your "I'm sorry's."

There were a few more but I don't remember them.

That's all for today.

I hope you guys have a great rest of the week!

Loving Ourselves Selflessly

I've been learning a lot more on loving others since i've started my blog. It's always easy to love those that love us but not those who hurt us. It's been a challenge but it's great that I'm improving. As I've been learning how to love others I came to realize that it's just as important to love ourselves. If we don't know how to love ourselves, it's almost impossible to love others because our love will have limits if we can't find completeness in our heart. So, I wanted to share how I overcame some of the struggles of accepting myself. I made this video a while back but I thought it was appropriate for this chapter. You can watch the video , just read my blog, or both.

There was a time in my life when I couldn't forgive myself for some of the sins I commited in my life, so I struggled with loving and accepting myself.This led me to think I wasn't pretty enough and that I was a failure. I truly believe the ememy uses beauty against women over and over again. The thoughts of, "I wish I was skinny as her, I wish I was successful as her, I wish I was her", comes from a small voice the enemy implants in our mind. We fight for the acceptance of how beautiful others view us. A lot of beautiful women I meet don't think that their pretty enough. I feel it's a lie that the enemy feeds us in order to have a control of our identity. Once they have a control of our identity, it puts us in a vulnerable state. When I started focusing on all the things I didn't like about myself I neglected the beauty God created in me. When I started seeking God and laid out my sins and dispair onto Him I was able to feel how He felt about me. He didn't love me because I reached my goals, I was pretty, I got a promotion, or because I got straight A's. He loves me because I'm His daughter. When I felt this kind of love the acceptance of myself was beyond what this world could provide. It wasn't boastful but selfless. It was a journey but through prayer and God, I was able to come out of that dark tunnel. Even now the enemy tries to use my past struggles to put me in the dark again but when ever those thoughts run through my head I declare out loud " I am God's daughter and that is all that matters!" Yes, that is all that matters.

Ch. 4 Where Chris and I REALLY met

After a few weeks into us dating, Chris came to have lunch with me during the week because I was sick from a cold and decided to leave work early. As we were eating he asked me, “Do you know where we first met?” And I instantly answered, “Of course! We met at the car wash.”  Then he told me that that wasn’t the first time we met.  I was completely confused and I had no idea what he was talking about. He then asked me, “Do you remember about two months ago when you and your friend was at Le Prive (a Korean Club in LA)? We met that night!” I started thinking back and remembered that I was at the club for a friend’s birthday party a few months ago but I didn’t remember Chris from that night. He recapped the conversation we had at the club and it completely blew my mind. I remembered having a very unique conversation with a guy and that guy was Chris. When I met him at the club, I asked him if he liked his current job and usually most people give a very general answer but he said, “NO, I HATE MY JOB!”  That left a lasting impression. Then we started back tracking how he came to our church and all the events that lead us to each other. I believe that nothing is an accidnet. It was another “chills down my spine” moment. That is how we “technically” met at the club.

We dated for about 9 months before we got engaged, then got married 7 months later. Now, I’m writing a new chapter in my life with my forever best friend.

We’re probably all in a different time in our life. I also know that everyone's story and situation is different but at the same time we don't have to accept the status quo. Some of us may be single, in a relationship/engaged, divorced, or married. Where ever you may be I want to encourage you to start with you and God. Then, you can start praying for your true love. If you’re single, I hope to give inspiration that true love exist. Also, don't let past mistakes and failures tell you otherwise. If you’re in a relationship, I want to encourage you to pray for God’s blessing and also to show you guys clear confirmations whether that person is right for you or not. It’s always great to ask for specific confirmations.  If you are divorced, I would like to encourage you to allow God to work with your heart. Lastly, if you’re married, I encourage you to pray that God will always be the center of your marriage.

Until next time…

Ch.3 How did I know Chris was the one?

We were praying for confirmations because we wanted to make sure we were the right person for each other and the only person who knew that was God. Although I can’t share all the signs God showed us, I want to share a couple that was very impactful. I also want to talk about how I started praying for my future husband because I didn’t always know to do that.

One of my mentors I really love and respect told me that finding the right person was the most important thing in life. She always said it was more important than figuring out my career path. I always knew it was important but I didn't start taking it seriously until she told me that. She mentioned that it wasn’t just important because we’ll spend the rest of our life with them but also because they become a part of us. Her story is that she prayed for her future husband since she was in high school. To make a long story short, she asked God to show her a bright light around her future husband when she met him and that’s what God did. Also, I read in a book called Passion & Purity by Elisabetha Elliot (I recommend this book for men and female) that told me to write down exactly what I wanted in a man/woman and pray for it. So, that’s exactly what I did. I honestly didn’t pray about it every day but I had faith that God would send me the right person.

Since then, everyone I met prior to Chris fell short of one or more things. I always tried to look past it because I thought I was being too picky. I would tell myself, “He may not have this and that but at least he has this.” I was compromising but God had better plans for me. When I met Chris and got to know him, I realized that he had all the traits I wrote down and prayed for. Chris isn’t perfect but he was for me. God even provided the smallest things.  For instance, I asked for a man who can sing and play piano (specifically) because I wanted to praise together and Chris can do both.

Another confirmation was when Chris and I were talking outside my house inside his car.  We were talking about our relationship and if we were ready to take the next step. I think he was ready but I wasn’t quite ready yet. As we were having this conversation he suddenly became really quiet and started looking up into the sky through the sunroof. I didn’t want to bother him because it seemed like he had a lot on his mind.  After a few minutes I said something to him (I forgot what I said) that was completely random and out of the norm for me. Then he looked at me as if he saw a ghost. So I asked him what was wrong.  He responded, “How did you know to say that?”  The only answer I was able to think of was that it just popped up inside my head.  Then, what he told me next was what really surprised me.  He said he was praying quietly while he was looking up into the sky and he prayed, “God if Sandy really is the women I’m supposed to marry, please have her say this (the thing I said) to me right now.”  Then moments later, I said the exact same thing to him.  I know it’s pretty crazy! We took that as a definite confirmation from God and we decided to talk to our pastor, friends, and family to receive their blessings as well.

That’s how we started dating officially.