I’ve been receiving a lot of questions about relationships and marriages. One of the most common questions was, “How do you and Chris maintain a strong marriage?” We’re not quite the veteran in this area because we’ve only been married for a year and 8 months but I can say that our marriage has been great thus far and we’re making a decision each day to keep it that way. I don’t think there’s a formula to having a great marriage but if I was to share a few things we did that helped our marriage, it would be that we knew exactly what the other person’s expectations were in the marriage and we made a decision to provide that each day.
In the beginning of our relationship, Chris asked me what I expected from him as my boyfriend/ husband. There were two important things that I expected from him as my husband which was being consistent in his love and action and showing unfailing love. I also asked Chris what his was and for him it was for me to show him respect and appreciation in any given situation. I didn’t realize how important knowing one another’s expectations were until just recently.
It was incredibly important that he was consistent in his love and action because I’ve seen too many cases where the husband or wife stopped doing all the amazing things the other person fell in love while they were dating. This goes for relationships as well. I’ve been in relationships where the guy wanted to do everything for me then one day it all changed. I married Chris for who he was. If he changed all of a sudden and stopped doing all the things I loved about him, I would feel cheated.
One thing I’m truly thankful for is that Chris has kept his promise. He has been consistent and showed me a type of love I didn't know could exist besides from God. I make a choice each day to keep my promise to him as well. A few ways I show that I respect him is through encouraging words, truly believing in him, and showing him that his words genuinely mean a lot to me. One way I show appreciation is by saying “thank you” even when he does the smallest things such as opening the door for me. I’ve learned that men will want to do more for their women if we sincerely encourage them and say thank you often. We sometime forget to be appreciative of even the smallest things they do.
Sometime last year I started realizing myself not appreciating Chris as much as I use too. I was getting too comfortable and expecting more out of him. Once I realized myself doing that I felt incredibly bad and had to apologize to Chris. Then I asked God to help me to see Chris the way He see's him once again. Once I confessed my inner feelings to Chris and asked God for forgiveness I started to feel even more appreciative towards Chris. We're not perfect and relationships will never be "perfect" but as long as we are willing to put ourselves aside and throw away our pride for our other half we can work through any difficulties. We've had our shares of disagreements but as we started to learn how to understand one another we improved ourselves as an individual and as a couple. I believe that helped our love to grow even deeper.
It was incredibly important that he was consistent in his love and action because I’ve seen too many cases where the husband or wife stopped doing all the amazing things the other person fell in love while they were dating. This goes for relationships as well. I’ve been in relationships where the guy wanted to do everything for me then one day it all changed. I married Chris for who he was. If he changed all of a sudden and stopped doing all the things I loved about him, I would feel cheated.
One thing I’m truly thankful for is that Chris has kept his promise. He has been consistent and showed me a type of love I didn't know could exist besides from God. I make a choice each day to keep my promise to him as well. A few ways I show that I respect him is through encouraging words, truly believing in him, and showing him that his words genuinely mean a lot to me. One way I show appreciation is by saying “thank you” even when he does the smallest things such as opening the door for me. I’ve learned that men will want to do more for their women if we sincerely encourage them and say thank you often. We sometime forget to be appreciative of even the smallest things they do.
Sometime last year I started realizing myself not appreciating Chris as much as I use too. I was getting too comfortable and expecting more out of him. Once I realized myself doing that I felt incredibly bad and had to apologize to Chris. Then I asked God to help me to see Chris the way He see's him once again. Once I confessed my inner feelings to Chris and asked God for forgiveness I started to feel even more appreciative towards Chris. We're not perfect and relationships will never be "perfect" but as long as we are willing to put ourselves aside and throw away our pride for our other half we can work through any difficulties. We've had our shares of disagreements but as we started to learn how to understand one another we improved ourselves as an individual and as a couple. I believe that helped our love to grow even deeper.
Do you know what your better half expects from you as a husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend?
P.S Please let me know if you would like to read more entires similar to today's topic in the future.
Love,
Sandy
Love,
Sandy
I think it's wonderful that both your expectations are quality values of the human relation. It's also wonderful that you both mutually understand the expectations aren’t limitations to your relationship but opportunities to make yourself more accountable to keeping promises. So beautiful you are Sandy Choie; inside and out. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI think it's wonderful that both you and Chris' expectations are quality values of human relationships that people could adopt or agree with. You and Chris mutually understand the expectations aren’t limitations to your relationship but opportunities to make yourself more accountable to each other. So beautiful you are Sandy Choie; inside and out. Thank you for sharing.
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