IN THE MOMENT - GREY SWEATERS

Hey Everyone,

How do you guys like the new background? Since it's almost a new year I thought "True Love" needed a renewal. Let me know what you guys think.

If you guys know me fairly well you guys all ready know that fashion is another passion and love I have since I was young. I love everything about fashion and beauty. The vibrant colors, different combinations, shapes, and spontaneousness. So, I wanted to share this side of my "LOVE" with you guys as well. 

"In the Moment" will be a new addition to my blog where I will be sharing an item that I'm currently crushing over at the moment. It may be anywhere from clothes, shoes, purse, beauty products, cool gadgets (although it's not completely fashion), and many more. Let me know if you guys like my new addition. Hope you guys enjoy!

www.TOPSHOP.com

Love,
Sandy

My first birth experience was...

Hey Everyone,

It's been a very long time since I've wrote to you guys.  I got a little lazy the last few weeks of my pregnancy so I didn't update as frequently.  Sorry for being MIA.  I was also a little busy preparing for Topher to come as well.  Chris and I were so anxious to meet Topher the last few weeks it was kind of driving us crazy (in a good way). I also couldn't sleep. There were days I would be awake until 4:00 am or 5:00 am. Thank goodness I was on maternity leave or I would be one grumpy pregnant lady at work.

My official due date was 11/28/11 but Topher was born on 11/21/11 at 10:15 pm. If you would like to know how my first birth experience was you can continue to read.

On 11/20/11, Sunday morning I had a bloody show so Chris and I went into the hospital to get a check up. It turned out that I was 2 cm dilated and it was a sign of pre-term labor. They monitored my contractions and checked if I would dilate more for about 3 hours but I didn't make any progression so they sent me home. I was getting stronger contractions by that time but it wasn't strong enough. The nurse told us we would most likely be back that night seeing the amount of contractions I was having. We were both super anxious to see Topher so we were very hopeful and excited to know that I may go into labor that night. After I was discharged we went to John's house (our pastor) to have Thanksgiving dinner. Everything was great until 9 pm that night. I started getting really strong contractions and much closer in time. This time there were about 3-5 minutes a part but it wasn't consistent. I wanted to make sure it was the real thing so we monitored it for about 5 hours and finally at 2 am it was so painful I couldn't handle it anymore. We finally drove to the hospital and found out that I was 3 1/2 cm dilated. I was considered "in active labor".

I was able to get the epidural right away (THANK GOD). The process was a bit scary because I really don't like needles. There were also a few more unexpected events that made the experience of giving birth a lot more nerve recking then I expected but once you're numb it gets better. Especially because you don't feel your contractions anymore. That's one of the worse pains ever.

I was in labor from 2 am to 3 pm. I didn't feel any of the pain so I slept most of the time. Then finally at 3 pm I was 10 cm dilated and the nurse said I was ready to push. The nurse came back at 3:30pm and I started pushing. Chris and the nurse helped me through the whole process.  The nurse expected me to push for about 1 hour max but I ended up pushing for 3 1/2 hours. My doctor thought I would be able to push better if I was able to feel the contractions more so my epidural doses was cut by half and I was given medicine to feel more contractions. That was the most painful part of my whole birth experience. It turned out that Topher was facing up and not down so the bigger part of his head was coming out first. That's why he wouldn't come out. After 3 1/2 long hours of pushing my doctor said I had to get a C-section because Topher's head wasn't turning. I was so scared when she told me because the thought of going into surgery was terrifying. I was trembling and so many thoughts were going through my mind. I was praying the whole time. It helped tremendously that Chris was there the whole time. I don't know what I would have done without him. Finally we went into the operation room around 10:00 pm and at 10:15pm Topher was born.

My recovery wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. I'm very lucky to have a quick recovery. I started walking a little the next day and by the end of the week I was able to walk fairly well. It's been 3 weeks since I gave birth and I feel about 90% recovered.

The process of becoming a mom is definitely not easy but like all mom's would say it's well worth it. Chris and I are enjoying everyday with Topher. His smiles, cries, farts, poops, burps, and every thing about him puts a smile on our face. He's truly perfect. Chris and I still can't believe we're parents. I don't think it'll really hit us until Topher starts talking. He's truly a gift from God. We love him so much! I hope to share all the great memories that our family will have with everyone. Thank you everyone for your love and prayers. It has made our journey as a parent that much more special and wonderful. I will try my best to share our journey as a family with you guys.

My two favorite men in my life. 

This is us in our recovery room

I can't believe Christmas is almost a week away. Time seems to fly these days. I hope you guys are excited! We are because it's our first as a family. How exciting! Let's start counting down the days!

I've been living on other people's verbal throw up

Hey Everyone,

You're probably thinking, "verbal throw up?" I guess it's kind of literal. If you would like to know please continue to read.

My life after Renovare had it's ups and downs (mainly because of my hormones I think) but overall it's been good. I'm continuously learning.

There's a few great changes I noticed in my life.

The first is that I'm able to soak in God's words as the truth and not just merely information. I didn't know how to put that into words until we started going through a series called MetaX at our church. Before I would read the bible and most of the time it would soak in as good information. I didn't feel it penetrating into my heart. After renovare, I noticed that my heart was able to recieve God's word in a more deeper but simple way.

Another great awakening was that I realized that I've been living on other people's throw-up most of my life.

Let me elaborate on that.

I realized I got burnt out quickly because my strength came from books, sermons, and other sources other then my personal time with God. All the books and sermon's are great information but it's not good enough to give my body all the nourishment it needs in order to function properly everyday. Our pastor put it as Zero Calories. The great books, sermons, newspaper articles are zero calories unless we have God's word in us. All the books and sermon's were information they received from their personal time with God. In return they're sharing it with others and we're listening to their verbal throw up. It's not bad but it's not enough.

I've also realized how important comunity was tremdously through our NUMA family. I've been growing through the love people have been giving me and also through other peoples lives. I was able to see God through them.

What must I do now that I know this? I'm trying to create more margin for God each day. Creating margin for God means letting God be the center and pushing all the worldly things outwards so that God may go inward. Has it been easy? Not necessarily but God pursued after me before I ever pursued after Him.

Do you guys have a similar experience or understand where I'm coming from?

Love,
Sandy

Pregnancy Week 26: Stronger Kicks/ Cramps & Marriage as a priority

Hey Guys,

I officially have 95 more day's until we meet Topher if I have him on Nov.28th. Baby bump say's that he should be approximately 14 inches and weigh 1.75lb. That's the size of a hothouse cucumber.
I've been experiencing more cramps, backaches, and nauseousness this past week.  I'm hoping it'll get better.

Lately, I've been feeling a bit of a husband withdrawal. I kept thinking about how Chris and I won't be spending as much time alone and I kind of got me sad. I heard some women go through this and I'm sure one of them. Chris and I are making a concious effort to do as much as we can before Topher comes. Although we're both excited we both know a lot is about to change. There will be some tough moments but we know that's just part of parenthood.

I've made a commitment that my husband will stay a priority along with my son. Which means I will make a concious effort to spend my alone time with him. A personal decision I've made was that I wouldn't allow our kids to sleep in our bed. I've read married couples have a non existing intimate life because their kids are always with them and that can cause problems in the marriage. A person shared that their married men friends with kids feel less important then their dog at home because their wife is too busy taking care of life or sometimes vice versa. I've noticed that a lof of people are afraid to have kids because they feel it may break up their marraige. Aren't kids a blessing from God? Then why is it that people feel this way? It's really disheartening and sad. I'm sure it'll be a challenge for Chris and I but we've make a commitment to put our marriage as a priority while raising our kids together. We believe that's important for our kids as well.

On a separate note, here are some pictures from the weekend. Chris and I went to Genwa BBQ this past weekend and the food was pretty amazing. The experience was even better. It's a little more pricer then most Korean BBQ but I think it's worth going at least once to experience their ambiance. They give you massive amounts of side dishes and they serve high quality meat (kobe beef).





Summer of Love- I've been in love with the idea of LOVE

Hey Guys,

Have you guys ever been in love with the "idea" of being in love? I sure have.

Our pastor John Park was sharing a few weeks ago that he's also been in love with the idea of being in love before he met his wife. He said he dreamed about marriage ever since he was 4 (or something like that). So, everytime he met someone he would think "she could be the one!" then fell head first. I can totally relate to that because there was point in my life when I was in love with the "idea" of being in love as well.

I was pretty independent all throughout high school and college. I didn't mind being single and actually enjoyed not being committed to someone. It wasn't until after college when I started really thining about love and marriage. I had a list of things I wanted in a husband and prayed priodically for him. Then everytime I met someone I would think, "can he be the one?" and I would fall head first instead of God really showing me who my better half was.

I think there was a part of me that subcontiously knew when someone wasn't the right person for me. I use to pray to God to show me confirmations if the person I was interested or dating wasn't the right person for me. But when I met Chris, I prayed for God to show me confirmations if he was the right person for me. My prayer itself was different. Although deep inside I knew it wasn't right a part of me wanted it to be so I prayed for God to show me comfirmations so that I may be able to move on. I'm not sure if all this is making sense.

One thing I realized is that I really wanted to get married because of the "idea" of marriage and love. The stability, companionship, acceptance, friendship, being loved, and etc. I didn't want it for the sake of just love. Does that make sense? I was seeking love for merely my selfish wants and needs. In 1 Corinthians 13:5 it says "It is not rude, it is not self seeking." It meanig love. That's what I've been relearning these past few weeks.

When I met Chris, I was at a point in my life when I was completely fulfilled with just God's love alone. I didn't need a man to fufill my voids anymore. So, I didn't need to be in a relationship or want to be married because of my own needs. It wasn't self seeking. I fell in love with Chris for Chris and not for the idea of being in love.

I was reminded to seek after God's love first before I looked for it in others because people can always dissapoint me but God's love is neverchanging.

Summer of Love Part II - It's hard for me to trust someone when it hurts

Yesterday was an amazing Sunday. We had a great time at church. Being around great people always lifts my spirit. Then in the afternoon my sister, brother in law, and nephews came over to swim.  It was so much fun! My nephews are getting so big.

The sermon our pastor spoke of was much needed in my current life. As we’re going through this series of what “love” is it’s been a challenge for me personally because of certain events in my life.

I shared in a earlier post (What's been going on in my life) that we were learning about love and breaking apart the passage 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 . This past Sunday our Pastor John Park preached about “Love always trusts.”

First, I would like to share what I learned about the word “love.”

So, what is love?

In the bible it says that God is love. (GOD=LOVE)

In Greek, “love” is the word agaphe.  It’s divine and selfless. So, it’s something that’s not human. It’s so special and beautiful.

When our pastor shared an example of what “Love always trusts” looks like I started asking myself when I was more selfless then selfish.

Selfish: Can I trust them? (This focus on me)

Selfless: Am I trustworthy? (This focus on God and our fellow bother)

My struggle:

The whole time as I was hearing this sermon I was really struggling in my heart.  I recently got into a really big turmoil with a family member and some hurtful words were said. Every time I heard the word trust I also heard the word forgive. In order for me to trust them I knew I had to truly forgive them. It’s like a battle in my mind. One side of my mind is sayings, “Sandy, were you being trustworthy to them? You did wrong too. Let’s forgive and trust them.” Another park of me is saying, “Yea, but it still hurts and they shouldn’t have said that. They had no right.” It sounds like my selfish and selfless side battling against each other.

One important thing that our pastor shared that gave me a lot of hope and peace was that we didn’t have to rush into trusting and forgiving someone. Although that doesn’t mean we should ignore the issue. He mentioned that we should confront them with love once we have truly forgiven them in our hearts.  He shared a personal testimony about his struggle with forgiving someone. He really disliked this person who has hurt him. Then, he finally reached out to that person after 2 years when he felt he was finally ready to talk with them.  Although they didn’t respond in kindness, he knew he had fully healed because he didn’t feel anger when they didn’t respond in kindness. He felt more sorrow.  I’m not quite there yet, but now I know that I don’t need to rush into making the situation better. I really want this situation to make my relationship with them much stronger and better. In order for that to happen I know I have to ask God to work with my heart first.

Are you guys struggling with something similar?

If you guys are I hope this helped give you some sort of direction and peace as it did for me.

Pregnancy week 21: We're having a BOY!



20 weeks

 Hey Everyone,

Last week I shared that we were going to find out the sex of our baby and we found out that it's a boy. Chris and I had the names of our baby all planned out. If it was a boy his name was going to be Topher. So, everyone say hello to our son Topher.
I wanted to name our son Topher because it's unique and it fulfills Chris's name. Most people think Chris's name is Christopher but it's actually just Chris. So, I thought it would be nice for our son to fulfill his name; Chris-Topher. It has the meaning of our son fulfilling Chris. Also, Topher means bearer of Christ. Chris and I both want our son to grow up in the name of God and do what He has planned for his life.
The process of the ultrasound is quite boring for the mother. The dad gets to see everything but I'm lying down so I can't see anything until the nurse turns the screen. The most exciting part was finding out that we're having a baby boy. The snapshot of his little genitals was so funny and cute.
Chris was extremely happy but he wanted to make sure I was okay with us having a son because I expressed to him a few times that having a baby girl would be amazing. I knew that choice was out of our hands so I tried to set all my feelings aside and I believe it helped. When I found out we were having a boy I was genuinely happy. I just want our baby to be happy and healthy. 
It made me even more happy to see Chris so excited to make great memories with our future son. He's always wanted to teach his son how to play ball, ride a bike, swim, and all the boy stuff. I'm really glad that he'll be able to do that with our son.
It hasn't hit me yet completely that my life is about to change completely. I'm sure I won't until our son comes into this world but each day I'm anticipating for motherhood even more. There's a part of me that's scared and wondering if I'm ready. The more I feel that way it leads me to God.  All I can do is pray that God will lead me to be a great mom and a great wife. It's something we all go into not really knowing how to be a great parent. So, I know I'll need God to guide me through our new journey. I remember my sister once saying that my nephew wasn't her child. She said he was God's child and she was just taking care of him until the day Jesus came back for his children.  So, she had to be a great shepard for my nephew. Those words stuck with me. That's how I see our son. Topher isn't our child. He is God's child and we're here to take care of him until God comes for all of us. Until then I will try to enjoy every step of the way. Even through the sleepless nights.


Love,
Sandy

What's been going on in my life: Church + Summer of Love

Chris and I were attending New Song Church in Irvine for about 2 years prior to NUMA church. We really loved Pastor Dave Gibbons sermon's but we both felt we were lacking a community. So, we wanted to look for smaller church we can build a strong relationship with.  At the time our friends Jeff and Anne was attending NUMA church and told us great things about it. So, we decided to check it out a few times. After getting to know a lot of the members of the church we knew this was a community we wanted to grow in. Everyone made us feel welcome and I loved how we were all growing together. I'm looking foward to our journey at NUMA.

We've been going through a series called Summer of Love at our covenant group and it couldn't have came at a better time. I've been struggling to love certain people in my life. Although Chris and I missed this weeks CG I got a chance to read through the material and I really wanted to share it with you guys because it's great stuff.

Week 1: Love is Patient
Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

What a beautiful image of love. If only my love looked like this too.

I think my love looks more like this:
"Love is sometimes patient, sometimes kind (depending on who it is). It does not envy, it does not boast (unless they do it first), and it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered (unless they push my buttons), it keeps no record of wrongs (except if they do this, this, or that). Love does not delight in evil (but they got what they deserved) but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts (unless I catch them lying), always hopes, always perserveres (until I'm fed up).

I notice that I pick and chose to love people a certain way depending on the situation but God loved us all equally no matter what we did. That blows me away.

We're going to pick apart 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 to discuss what it's saying to us and how we can live out love. If you're having a hard to being patient with people in your life or on a daily basis like me I would like to encourage you to start digesting these words and find a way to have a patient love with me. It's a learning process but it's doable. We can start by spending more time with a patient person which is God.
I want to know more about a love like that and be a person that can show that kind of love to others and I hope you guys do too.

This week is 1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is Patient.

Somethings to think about + my thoughts (don't judge =P)
1) Are you a patient person? Sometimes. What would others say about you?
2) How can you be more patient? I need to spend more time with people with patience. First would be to spend quality time with God.
3) In what circumstances do you need patience? When people treat me wrong, when people nag, when I meet people with no desires or aspirations, etc.
4) To whom do you need patience with? People at my work, my family...


How about you guys?

Pregnancy week 19: Our baby kicked!! + Nutrition during pregnancy

Hi Everyone,

Chris and I came back from our babymoon yesterday. It was very relaxing and we had a lot of fun eating great food in Vancouver. I’ll share a little bit more about our trip later this week with pictures.

I'm in week 19 and I’m noticing that my belly has been growing rapidly. Now I can't fit into my jeans because it's really tight around the belly.  I also hate wearing my bras because the wire is so uncomfortable. Chris get's upset because I keep complaining but not buying a new bra. I really need to go buy one soon. I've been wearing a lot of dresses since it's comfortable especially in the CA heat. I haven't gained too much weight except for around my arms and my thighs. The extra weight gain has been stressing me out a little so I'm continuing to remind myself that I'm pregnant.

I have some exciting news to share. Our baby kicked for the first time in Vancouver. It was so exciting. I kept wondering when our baby was going to kick then finally our baby did. It feels like little air bubbles popping inside my tummy. Some people say it feels like tiny butterflies. When I first felt the baby I thought it was my stomach growling but the movements started getting bigger. Then, that's when I realized it was our baby kicking. I immediately told Chris and he jumped up with a huge smile and placed his hand on my tummy. He seemed more excited then I was.  He looked incredibly happy when he felt the baby kick for the first time. I've always pictured what it was going to be like when I was pregnant. I pictured how my husband was going to react when our baby kicked for the first time and It was exactly the way I pictured it. That moment was priceless.

Chris and I at the airport on our way to Vancouver. I was 18 weeks in this picture.

Nurtiriton:
Today I wanted to share a little about the importance of nutrition during pregnancy. After reading several books and articles I learned what “eating for two” really means.  Doctors say that most women think eating for two means eat twice as much as you use too and eating whatever you want.  What it really means is for us to consume twice the amount of vitamins and minerals for us and our developing baby.

I read in a book called “Dead Doctors Don’t Lie” by Dr. Joel Wallach that baby calves were born with birth defects due to lack of minerals and vitamins. They traced it back to the mother and realized that the mother wasn’t consuming enough vitamins and minerals which created imprints in their DNA. That imprinted DNA was passed onto their babies which caused birth defects. Nowadays we hear a lot about kids with eczema, allergies, and many other things we didn’t have to deal with while growing up. Thank God if your kid doesn't deal with this now but I believe we can prevent them from occuring in the future through better nutrition.

Although it's important to eat healthy it's also important not to deprive ourselves of some treats occasionally. I'm not the most healthy eater but I do control my cravings. I also take organically made vitamins to make sure I get my daily servings of vitamins and minerals for me and my baby.

I personally take a really high quality organically made vitamin. Nothing can be 100% organic but  through some research I found that the one I consume takes the best of nature and the best of science to make the supplements.  Synthetic vitamins are chemical based and made by duplicating the vitamin structure. Due to this reason it's hard for our liver to process synthetic vitamins so it can be more harmful then helpful in the future. Organically made vitamins should be made from certified organically grown fruits and vegetables. They  extract the vitamins, minerals, and phytonutrients straight from the plants and compress it into a pill form.

I’ve also read that we should be consuming about 300-400 calories more than our average intake (based on our body) during our pregnancy. My regular caloric intake is about 1300 calories per day (if I’m not active) based on my height and body size. Then that means I should consume about 1600 calories a day during my pregnancy.  If you work out your calorie intake will increase. I'll talk about prenatal work out's in the future.

Hope this helps you all mother to be's~

Thanksgiving with the Choi Family

Hey Everyone!

I hope you guys all had a great Thanksgiving weekend!
Mine was filled with great food, music, and company.

Last Tuesday I decided to write down 50 things I was thankful for this year to follow what I wrote last week (click here to read) .  The first 20 were easy to list but I had to really think about the last 30.  It was a great experience because it made me appreciate things that I usually take for granted.  For example, as I was writing my list I was reminded of how lucky I was to be able to speak, hear, touch, see, run, walk, and many more.  Those things seem so simple and that's why it's easily ignored.  It was a great time to truly reflect and appreciate even the little things that God has given me which all sums up to great things.

Next, I called a few of my friends I haven't talked to in a while and chatted for a few hours.  It was nice catching up and talking about old times.  Also, I wrote a thank you note to everyone in my family to show love and appreciation.  They thought it was a bit silly at first but I saw the smiles on their faces after they read the notes.  It's amazing how a simple thank you note can bring giggles and smiles to someone's face which is irreplaceable. 

Here are some pictures of few of my family members from Thanksgiving Day:

My wonderful Husband!

My beautiful sister #2

(My 3rd sister went to her in-laws this year and my oldest was busy cooking)

My handsome brother in law #2

My cute mom and dad

This is me from the night before at my friends b-day party. I forgot to take a picture of myself on Thanksgiving Day =)

I hope you guys had a great vacation. Now, it's time to get ready for Christmas!!
Christmas is my favorite time of the year!

Let's Give Thanks on Thanksgiving Day

Hi Friends,

I received this email from Chris today by Little Things Matter and I wanted to share it with you guys.  A few day's ago I was reminded of what Thanksgiving Day was all about.  This whole time I kept thinking about all the yummy food I was going to eat and not having to go to work that I forgot what the true meaning of this day was. So, I wanted to take this opportunity to observe Thanksgiving Day with everyone.  This post humbly reminded me of what I should truly be celebrating on Thanksgiving Day and and I hope it does the same for you guys as well. Who's up for the challenge?

Thanksgiving Day Long Ago
For 66 days a sailing vessel called the Mayflower carried 102 pilgrims across the stormy Atlantic Ocean and landed at Plymouth Rock in Massachusetts on December 11, 1620. During that first cold winter, 46 pilgrims died. In the spring of 1621, the Wampanoag Indians taught the pilgrims how to cultivate the land—growing corn, beans, and pumpkins which helped them survive. At harvest time the colonists were so grateful for their bountiful crops that Governor William Bradford organized the first Thanksgiving feast, inviting their neighbors—Wampanoag Indians. With joy and thanksgiving, they expressed their gratitude and appreciation to God for their bountiful harvest.
Many years later, in 1789, President George Washington wrote a proclamation, recommending to the “people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God . . . Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November . . . that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country . . .”
Thanksgiving Day Today
So it has been that for over two centuries. Thanksgiving Day has become a joyous festival celebrated with a lot of enthusiasm. People have gathered together to thank God for His past blessings and to enjoy the warm fellowship of family and friends.
However, over the last 50 years Thanksgiving Day has lost its original significance. For many people, it has simply become a time when families come together to eat turkey and watch football.
As we prepare to celebrate this Thanksgiving with our family and friends, I encourage you, regardless of where you live in the world, to stop and reflect on the things for which you are grateful.
In our busy and demanding lives, it’s easy to focus on our challenges and overlook the things we are truly blessed to enjoy. It’s easy to lament what we don’t have, rather than appreciate what we do have. We would all benefit from the words of Epictetus, a stoic Greek philosopher, who said, “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”
When we focus on all the positive things in our lives, we will find more joy, satisfaction, and happiness. Our lives will take on greater meaning and our hearts will be filled with love and gratitude.
My Challenge to You
1.  Make a list of all the things for which you are thankful. Stretch yourself to make a list of 50 people, things, or events. This can include the names of family, friends, co-workers and others whose relationships you value. Include your religious affiliations, your pastor or priest. Include our country and the servicemen who are protecting our land and our rights. It can also include your physical being, material possessions, and conveniences we so often take for granted. Parents, let me encourage you to have your children participate in this exercise.
2.  After making this list take some quiet time and reflect on everything you have listed. In the words of Thornton Wilder, “We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”
3.  Express your gratitude to the people you’ve listed. It could be a hand-written note, a personalized email, a text message, or a phone call. Whatever method you choose to use, make it personal and heartfelt. Let these people know how you feel about them and how special they are to you.
If the weight of your challenges makes it difficult to give thanks, reflect back how the pilgrims must have felt. “The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than those who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.” H. U. Westermayer.
Don’t take anything you have for granted.
Instead express your gratitude for all your many blessings—great and small.

BY: Little Things Matter

Did you guys make your list?  If you guys did, please share your experience with me. I would love to hear all about it. You can read about my experience (here).

Love,
Sandy

My Conneciton to Tony Robbins "Breakthrough" TV Show Ep.1

“The worst thing you can do for the people you love is doing things that they can do for themselves”

I watched the first episode of Breakthrough by Tony Robbins today and learned a lot about how to be a stronger person not only for myself but for people I love as well. Breakthrough is a TV show about Tony Robbins helping people make positive turns in their life by series of breakthrough events.  He shows them that their life can change and there is hope.

The first episode is about a married couple name Frank and Karen Alioto whose lives changed dramatically on the day of their wedding when Frank fell into the pool and became paralyzed.  Since that day they both lived with grief, guilt, and sorrow because they thought they could never have the life they planned for themselves.  Karen felt extremely overwhelmed with everything in her life and because she loved Frank so much it broke her heart to see him so vulnerable everyday.  It was extremely hard for Frank to see Karen go through so much pain and he felt guilty for not being able to provide the life he promised her. This is when Tony comes into their life to show them that their story hasn’t ended yet.

Tony gives both of them a series of challenges to overcome and through those challenges you start to see hope in their eyes again. One of my favorite part is when Tony talks to Franks family and friends about allowing Frank to struggle.  He mentions the worst thing we can do for the people we love is doing things that they can do for themselves and by doing so we end up being handicapped.  Frank might struggle at first but he’ll figure it out and it would no longer be a struggle for him.  That was a great life lesson to learn.  This was a great reminder that tough love is a form of love that's needed in certain moments of our lives.  This is definitely something I need to practice as well.  I want to make sure I don't handicap the people I love from becoming greater than they think they can be. 

You can watch EP.1-1 below. I encourage you to watch the rest!
Have a blessed week everyone!
 

My Connection to LOVE by Jaeson Ma (feat. Bruno Mars)

The lyrics to this song always humbles me and makes me think.  I even cried a few times listening to this song by myself in my car.  I’m sure you guys all have done before. =)

 I think I listened to it at least 5 times a day for 2 weeks straight.  There are so many parts on this song that spoke out to me.  It really speaks the truth and because it does it’s very humbling and challenging at the same time. 

Whenever I listen to this song it makes me think about the kind of love that my life is reflecting.  Would I be able to die for my enemies?  Does my love keep no record of wrongs?  The truth is I’ve been struggling with showing love to two specific people in my life the past year.  I see them every day because I work with them and every day I tell myself it’s a new day and I’m going to show love to them.  Then I get into the office and they do something to annoy me.  So, all the promises and prayers goes straight out the door.  Their personality is completely different from mine so their work ethic frustrates me sometimes.  I’ve been asking God to give me strength to show love to them but it’s been a real challenge.  Although it’s not easy I will not give up because I know God is working in me.  I also know that the only way anything will change is if I decide to change.  So, I decided to start praying for them and their family.  It’s a commitment but I feel like God is telling me to start there.

The other part that brings tears of joy to my eyes is the way it describes what perfect love is.  It’s so refreshing and humbling.  It also gives me a lot of hope.  Sometimes I think I got it right and I let my ego get the best of me.  Then, I think about how God portrayed his love for us it humbles me.   It truly is unthinkable to think about what Jesus Christ did for us.  That is truly perfect love.

I think if we try to do what the chorus say's, it'll help us along this journey.  It’s not easy with all the temptation around us but there’s no temptation big enough that love can’t fight.  This will be a continuous mission and journey for me but I’m looking forward to learning and growing every step of the way.  I’ll let you guys know how it turns out with my coworkers in a few months.  Please keep me in your prayers.

I also follow Jaeson Ma's blog which has great inspiring stories. You may want to check it out http://www.jaesonma.com/.

Thanks for reading everyone and please share some trials and triumphs you've had as well.  What was your connection to this song?

A Deeper Look into My Heart

Hey Guys,

I wanted to take this time to share about my inner passion to fight against human trafficking.  I first heard about human trafficking 3 or 4 years ago in church through a spokesperson from Oasis.   At the time, I didn’t know something like this was possible and it was all incredibly new to me.  Back then when I thought about slavery I thought about the stories we read in our history books.  I never thought it could be happening now.  I learned about different forms of slavery and they are all equally horrible but the one that broke my heart the most was sex trafficking.  Maybe it's because I'm a woman but the thought of young children and women being sold as prostitutes really bothered my soul.  It was horrible enough to know that people from third world countries were being trafficked but it really boggled my mind when I found out that people in California were being kidnapped and tricked into slavery as well.  Although my heart cried out for these people I didn't decide to get involved until I watched the movie "Taken".  This movie is about a father who goes to the ends of the earth to get his daughter back who was trafficked into prostitution.  I cried uncontrollably after watching this movie because I knew this was happening in real life. I prayed and asked God how something like this could be happening in our world.  Then in return I asked myself or God asked me what I was going to do to make it better.  That's when I decided that I needed to do something to help any way I can.  Through a friend I was able to get a hold of the founder of CAS (California Against Slavery) and I started to get involved with what they were doing to end slavery in California.

This crime seems impossible to end when you look at the growing population of people being trafficked each year.  Even so I truly have faith that this horrible crime would come to an end.   I'm not sure when that'll be but I have faith that it will because I saw it happen in my dream.   A few months ago I had a dream that I was sold as a sex slave because my family was tricked into thinking that they were sending me to a really great school.   The emotions I felt when I found out what happened were so real.  I felt lost, scared, betrayed, and my whole world was spinning.  I asked people to help me but they were so scared of the scary man (the guy in charge) that they ignored me.  Not even the police was able to do anything.  The people who worked for him told me I had to sleep with the scary man and the thought of that made me sick.  I remember praying in my dream and asking God why this happened to me.   I was mad at God but I also knew He was the only one who could save me.   So, I prayed earnestly for a miracle.  Then the next day and I had to go see the scary man.   I remember feeling terrified standing outside his room.  Then, something happened.  The scary man came out and told me I was free to go.  It was words of disbelief, happiness, and hope.   It was a miracle. Then he told me again, “You’re free to go.”  So, I walked out of there as a free woman.  I remember seeing the brightest light when the doors opened.  After that dream I had ultimate faith that this horrible crime would come to an end.  It was my confirmation and I can’t wait for that day.

If you want to know more information or find out how you can help support CAS please visit our website:

www.californiaagainstslavery.org

My connection to "Mine" by Taylor Swift

Some of you may not be a Taylor Swift fan but I like her so don't hate please. I recently watched a interview of her's and she talked about her new song "Mine". She said this song was about the real prospect of falling in love but always looking in your rearview mirror seeing all the times love has failed. If you listen to the song you can see that she questions love because of past experiences but she takes a chance and in return finds true lasting love. She said she personally tends to run from love because she see's people saying goodbye in her life all the time. Even though she has these thoughts she also has blind faith and hope that when she meets the right person love will be worth fighting for and that they'll work through the problems along the way. Her song and music video protrays that very well.

I remember when I had my guard up when it came to love. There was a part of me that anticipated for the other person to change for the worse because that's what always happened. When Chris and I first started dating, I had a hard time trusting that he was all that he said he was because of this reason. I prayed and asked for several confirmations (click here to read more) before I started trusting him. Although I was afraid of risking myself to fall in love I never lost hope and faith that true love could last.

There's a scene in the music video where Taylor Swift and her husband in the video get's into a fight for the first time. It brought me back to the time when Chris and I fought for the first time. The song say's she was expecting him to say goodbye because that's what she was use to seeing and that's how I felt when we fought for the first time too. There was a part of me that thought he might leave. There was another part of me that thought his love for me was going to change because that's what I was use to seeing but instead he told me that he would never leave me which is what the song said as well. That part brought me to tears.

I wanted to share this with you guys because I thought there would be someone who felt the same way as I did whether you were hurt by your boyfriends, girlfriends, family, or by a trusted friend.  What ever the cause was I hope my testimony or this song relieves you of any doubt in your heart.

If you do or did feel the way that I did, I want to encourage you to have blind faith and hope that love is worth fighting for. It's the strongest instrument we have and the enemy will try everything to take that away from us. It can clear any darkness. So, have blind faith and hope in love.

P.S I also want to encourage you guys to watch this music video. It's great! =)

it was more than just a DATE NIGHT

I hope you guys all had a great weekend and having a great week so far. Chris and I just came back from our second honeymoon yesterday. It was incredibly relaxing and a great dream building time. Chris and I like to talk and plan out all things we want to do in the future with our family and how we're going to achieve it. It's inspiring and through it we get to know each other better as well. It's also a great motivation.

We went to Las Vegas for two nights and three days and this was so far the best Vegas trip. We didn't do anything too crazy but it was perfect. The second night we decided to stay in our hotel and drink some wine watching a movie. Yes, I know that's what old people do but it was so much fun. We were surfing through the movies and came across "Date Night". I remembered my sister telling me that it was a great movie so we decided to watch it.

I would like to highly recommend this movie to every one except for kids because there's cursing. I don't want to hype it up but it's definitely worth watching. In the story, the Foster's, being married for a while and having two kids, almost forgot what being in love was and I love how they re-learn how in love they still are with each other. If you don't want me to spoil it you probably shouldn't read on but if you don't mind then you may. The Fosters start to question whether they're marriage is okay or not after they learned that their friends were going through a divorce. The reasons their friends gave were confusing to the Fosters and they started to question their own feelings. This made me think a lot about my own actions. It's a great story line and not to mention that Chris and I were rolling on the floor laughing because some of the scenes were hillarious. One of our favorite scene is the kill shot. It's become an inside joke for us. We had a geat laugh and I learned something valuable through this movie as well. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as we did.

My First Year of Marriage

Hello All,

Chris and I just celebrated our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY. Whoo Hoo!! Honestly, it felt like any other day because it's so short compared to all the years to come but it was great spending quality time with my hubby. A few weeks ago someone asked us if marriage was hard. I'm assuming they asked us because most people say that the first few years are the hardest. I can't speak for Chris but for me it wasn't hard for me.  I believe it wasn't because we had God as our foundation and we made a choice to make everyday a great day. We chose to love each other every day. We learned to do this after we learned from our mistakes.

After we got married the first few months were really hectic. We used that excuse to miss church. At first it was just one week then it turned out to be a month or so.  As I started missing church my heart started parting from God. Then, my heart started to grow cold. God was no longer in every aspect of my life. I had put Him away in my pocket. Everything seemed normal but something in my heart wasn't right. I started talking to Chris differently and I wasn't giving him the same respect as I did before.

Then on New Year's Day, Chris and I got into a horrible fight after having a few drinks. We said some things to each other that were very hurtful. That was our first real fight and it wasn't pretty. We would have never acted that way but I don't know what came over us. After that night, we both knew we had to change or things weren't going to be so great. We knew we had to focus back on God because we lost ourselves. We both repented before God and cried out to Him. It definitely felt like the enemy was trying to break us up. We promised eachother that that would never happen again and we decided to quit hard liquor. That's also when we decided to choose our marriage over ourselves.

There's goods and bads to marriage but that's life. Nothing in life can always be great but it's a decision we have to make. I decided that we were going to have the best time of our life until we go to heaven. There are days when I forget but I try to remind myself to look at Chris the way God looks at him. Then I remember to treat him with love and respect.

Chris and I asked each other what advice we would give to newly weds and here's what we said:

Sandy said:
1) Always have God at the core of your relationship
2) Tell your wife she's beautiful every day. Yes, EVERYDAY! We tend to forget.
3) Submit to your husband (if you don't know what this means, ask me separately)

Chris Said:

1) Don't get lazy in your relationship especially guys. Treat her the same way as you did when you first met her.

2) Accept compliments when they give it to you because that's a gift as well. Just say thank you, you're great too!
3) Guys, don't hold back your "I'm sorry's."

There were a few more but I don't remember them.

That's all for today.

I hope you guys have a great rest of the week!

Ch. 4 Where Chris and I REALLY met

After a few weeks into us dating, Chris came to have lunch with me during the week because I was sick from a cold and decided to leave work early. As we were eating he asked me, “Do you know where we first met?” And I instantly answered, “Of course! We met at the car wash.”  Then he told me that that wasn’t the first time we met.  I was completely confused and I had no idea what he was talking about. He then asked me, “Do you remember about two months ago when you and your friend was at Le Prive (a Korean Club in LA)? We met that night!” I started thinking back and remembered that I was at the club for a friend’s birthday party a few months ago but I didn’t remember Chris from that night. He recapped the conversation we had at the club and it completely blew my mind. I remembered having a very unique conversation with a guy and that guy was Chris. When I met him at the club, I asked him if he liked his current job and usually most people give a very general answer but he said, “NO, I HATE MY JOB!”  That left a lasting impression. Then we started back tracking how he came to our church and all the events that lead us to each other. I believe that nothing is an accidnet. It was another “chills down my spine” moment. That is how we “technically” met at the club.

We dated for about 9 months before we got engaged, then got married 7 months later. Now, I’m writing a new chapter in my life with my forever best friend.

We’re probably all in a different time in our life. I also know that everyone's story and situation is different but at the same time we don't have to accept the status quo. Some of us may be single, in a relationship/engaged, divorced, or married. Where ever you may be I want to encourage you to start with you and God. Then, you can start praying for your true love. If you’re single, I hope to give inspiration that true love exist. Also, don't let past mistakes and failures tell you otherwise. If you’re in a relationship, I want to encourage you to pray for God’s blessing and also to show you guys clear confirmations whether that person is right for you or not. It’s always great to ask for specific confirmations.  If you are divorced, I would like to encourage you to allow God to work with your heart. Lastly, if you’re married, I encourage you to pray that God will always be the center of your marriage.

Until next time…

Ch.3 How did I know Chris was the one?

We were praying for confirmations because we wanted to make sure we were the right person for each other and the only person who knew that was God. Although I can’t share all the signs God showed us, I want to share a couple that was very impactful. I also want to talk about how I started praying for my future husband because I didn’t always know to do that.

One of my mentors I really love and respect told me that finding the right person was the most important thing in life. She always said it was more important than figuring out my career path. I always knew it was important but I didn't start taking it seriously until she told me that. She mentioned that it wasn’t just important because we’ll spend the rest of our life with them but also because they become a part of us. Her story is that she prayed for her future husband since she was in high school. To make a long story short, she asked God to show her a bright light around her future husband when she met him and that’s what God did. Also, I read in a book called Passion & Purity by Elisabetha Elliot (I recommend this book for men and female) that told me to write down exactly what I wanted in a man/woman and pray for it. So, that’s exactly what I did. I honestly didn’t pray about it every day but I had faith that God would send me the right person.

Since then, everyone I met prior to Chris fell short of one or more things. I always tried to look past it because I thought I was being too picky. I would tell myself, “He may not have this and that but at least he has this.” I was compromising but God had better plans for me. When I met Chris and got to know him, I realized that he had all the traits I wrote down and prayed for. Chris isn’t perfect but he was for me. God even provided the smallest things.  For instance, I asked for a man who can sing and play piano (specifically) because I wanted to praise together and Chris can do both.

Another confirmation was when Chris and I were talking outside my house inside his car.  We were talking about our relationship and if we were ready to take the next step. I think he was ready but I wasn’t quite ready yet. As we were having this conversation he suddenly became really quiet and started looking up into the sky through the sunroof. I didn’t want to bother him because it seemed like he had a lot on his mind.  After a few minutes I said something to him (I forgot what I said) that was completely random and out of the norm for me. Then he looked at me as if he saw a ghost. So I asked him what was wrong.  He responded, “How did you know to say that?”  The only answer I was able to think of was that it just popped up inside my head.  Then, what he told me next was what really surprised me.  He said he was praying quietly while he was looking up into the sky and he prayed, “God if Sandy really is the women I’m supposed to marry, please have her say this (the thing I said) to me right now.”  Then moments later, I said the exact same thing to him.  I know it’s pretty crazy! We took that as a definite confirmation from God and we decided to talk to our pastor, friends, and family to receive their blessings as well.

That’s how we started dating officially.

Ch.1 How Chris and I met

Hi Guys,
I hope everyone had a great weekend! Mine was filled with a lot of blessings. I had a lot of stuff on my mind but it was all healthy.


I pondered for a while where I should begin to tell my story. Should I start when I was in high school, middle school, kindergarten, or now? Then I decided, "sharing how I met my husband would be a great start."


When someone asks me how I met my husband, Chris, I always start my story by saying, "we technically met at a club, but we officially met in church." I know you're probably thinking "a club and then church?"


I'll explain.


I officially met Chris at my church around April 2008. He was the new guy at church. He has great people skills so he got to know everyone fairly quickly. I actually thought he was a returning member of the church beacuse he got to know everyone so fast.


During that time I was preparing to go to Thailand for a short term mission's trip. Chris wasn't planning on going in the beginning but decided to join us shortly after. We had a carwash to raise funds for the mission's trip at our church. And from what I remember, this also happened to be the place where we first spoke. He did a great job of grabbing my attention because he went out of his way to show interest in me (It was probably all part of his plan.) He seemed like a nice guy but I wasn't interested in him or any guy at the time. A short time prior, I was so emotionally burnt out by failed relationships and love. I also made a promise with God that I would focus and trust on only Him.


Chris and I had small conversations at church but we didn't really get to know each other until we hung out with a few of our friends at a Karaoke (This is what us Koreans love to do.) One of our friends, Chris, and I got there a little earlier than the others so we had some time to talk and get to know one another. I started asking Chris some questions about himself and how he got to know our church. He started sharing his life story and that's when my perspective of him changed completely. His struggles and triumph's really attracted me. One of my biggest turn on's is someone with great leadership, a vision, and passion and he had all three! Most importantly he was a man of God. This was when I started developing feelings for him. I tried to suppress my feelings because I thought it was a distraction from God. You see, I made some wrong decisions in the past based on just my emotions and my heart was broken a little too many times. I jumped into relationship's for the wrong reasons. I didn't want to repeat the same episode in my life so I made sure that the next relationship I decide to be in was completely reliant on God. As time went by, I kept pushing my feelings aside and prayed that God will show me through signs if this relationship was really meant to be. I also prayed that he would show me when the right person came along. Then, shortly after Chris asked me out on a date...